*sigh*

I feel so raw inside tonight. Though I should be a pro at this, navy brat that I am, I hate goodbyes. And just because you say goodbye doesn't mean you stop loving. I wish I could forget the cruel words said to me. I wish I could blot it away like I've done so many times. But all I can do is sit here with the memories and the feelings and absorb every one. It sucks. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling like I could shatter at any second.

I decided to be festive yesterday...

and made this evergreen and berry arrangement for my front porch.

I think it's purdy. I also got my paperwhites started. I hope I'm not too late. The box says it takes 5-8 weeks, but I had to do two batches last year because I found they only take 3 weeks in my house. I have a little over four weeks now, so I should be fine. I bought the same kits as I did last year, but they're a little different, so I hope they do as well.

I'm doing so well with my Christmas shopping this year. Most of the stuff I will be giving is homemade, so I bought all the supplies for that, and any boxes, ribbon, wrapping I need. I do have a few things left to purchase, but literally only a few. And I know exactly what I want to get, so I'm nto too worried. I also have one of my gifts for the gift swap we always have at our work Christmas party. I bought The Constant Gardener. It's SUCH a great movie, and if I end up with my own gift, I'll be thrilled. I'm also making a batch of cranberry chocolate scones to give. It's a new recipe I have and I wanted to give them to family on Christmas, so I decided this would be a good way to try the recipe out. Is there anyone in the world that would dislike getting yummy scones or The Constant Gardener? I think not. It's such a load off my shoulders to have the gifts picked out, as I'm always nervous before parties and it's one less thing to stress over.

I'm trying to be more organized this year than usual. Maybe so I won't be stressed around the holidays, therefore lessening my chances (I hope) of a car accident. It's been almost a year. I'm just being extra- careful.

recent bits and pieces

I'm too tired to post a long entry tonight, but I just wanted to do a bit of an update. We just got the inside of our house painted and it looks good, but I'm so glad it's over. It was a big job to move everything and then put it back. It did give up an excuse to do a really big cleaning/organizing, so that's cool.

In other news-

1. I'm still enjoying yoga and hiking. I find that if I do them both on the same day I feel really great for days afterward. My legs also seem to be stronger in yoga class after I've hiked. I'm not sure if it's the endorphins or what. But it's good.

2. I've mentioned that I've gotten really into aromatherapy- well, I've also started doing some reading on Bach flower essences and it's SO fascinating! I've seriously been thinking that someday I'd like to become a consultant or therapist of these things. I've been really interested in herbs and stuff for years, and this seems to be the area I feel most passionate about. I've really exploring things like this lately as an alternative to anti-depressants, as I plan on going off mine in January. Anyway, it's fun to have something to study. Perhaps I'll be able to find a class on it or someone to apprentice with. Maybe. We'll see what happens.

I guess that's all for tonight. It's almost time for Lost!