1. The new job starts in a couple weeks. Nervous, nervous, nervous. Waves of anxiety have come and gone, and seem to be building as the time gets closer. I had a bit of a panic attack the other night, having trouble breathing and stuff. I just wish I could close my eyes and be there and adjusted. I hate starting a new job. It's like the first day in a new school or something.
2. I'm sadder about leaving some of my clients then I thought. They've been so sweet and supportive. One woman told me I was the best thing that had happened to them, another told me I was unreplaceable. Part of me felt so moved, but another part of me felt guilty, as I often do when I receive a compliment.
3. I've started BuSpar. It's just short term (hopefully) for my anxiety. It's non habit forming, and has the additional benefit of possible augmenting anti-depressants. Since I had to half my dose of the Celexa, this would be ideal. I'm hoping just to be on the meds until we get settled in Montana.
4. Haven't had a drink in over 9 months.
5. I'm looking into getting an IUD. I'm tired of hormonal pills. I have to endure a horrific week or two of depression every single month when I start my new pack of pills and I simply can't endure it any longer. Plus, I've been on them over eight years and I don't think it's really good to be on them so long. They also make me break out (at the same time I'm going nuts- great fun.). I've tried so many kinds and they all eventually end up having the same side effects. I'm just done. An IUD is expensive (though it saves loads of money in the longterm since you aren't shelling out for pills every month) and the procedure can be pretty painful, but it's up to 10 years of extremely effective (almost as effective as sterilization) reversable birth control. And I'll be free of the fake hormones and have my normal cycle back. I especially think that, since I've added another med, this is a good idea. Three meds is too much. So we'll see what happens. I'm in the process of making the arrangements, but it may be a couple months before it actually happens.
And that's about it. Time to go watch mindless TV now and finish my tea. :)
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2 comments:
this totally has nothing to do with ur blog but i was curious about what u thought about the new tori amos music. idk if her cd's out yet or not, but i heard her new single "big wheel"....i didn't really like but that's to be expected. have u heard about the controversy surrounding her use of the word MILF? lol that made me laugh
As you know by now, I'm not enjoying the new album as much as I had hoped. *sigh*
Before any fellow TF'ers throw anything at me, I do, in fact, LOVE a few of the songs. lol
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